6 Ways Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Life and How to Heal

The Hot Stove Metaphor:
Close your eyes and picture a child, innocent and full of curiosity, yet bound by a painful reality. This child, much like a hand testing the waters on a hot stove, experienced burns every time they dared to express certain emotions. The scalding pain etched memories into their very being, creating an invisible script that would influence how they approached feelings as they grew older. Just as one learns not to touch the searing heat to escape pain, this child learned to sidestep those emotions altogether. The avoidance, like a well-rehearsed play, now guides their adult journey through the labyrinth of emotions, a consequence of the early lessons etched by childhood trauma.

Emotional Dodging

The Echo of Neglect:
Imagine a child whose feelings were often brushed aside or ignored. This child learns to play hide-and-seek with their emotions, creating a shield to protect themselves from the potential sting of expressing how they truly feel.

Spotlight on Unhealthy Coping:

1. Avoidance Tactics:

  • Imagine: Pushing important tasks away, like delaying homework to escape the discomfort of facing challenging emotions.

2. Jumping to Conclusions or Catastrophizing:

  • Think about: Always expecting the worst, a shield against the potential hurt of things not going as planned.

3. Constant Worrying:

  • Feel the weight: Anxiety born from a sense of helplessness learned in childhood.

4. Seeking Validation:

  • Visualize: Craving constant reassurance from others due to a lack of love or acceptance in early years.

5. Self-Isolation and Withdrawal:

  • Picture: Building walls to keep emotions at bay, a learned response to avoid potential disappointment.

6. Emotional Eating and Substance Abuse:

  • See the cycle: Turning to food or substances as a way to cope with emotions, creating a habit that’s tough to break.

The Healing Trail: Rediscovering Emotions


Healing starts by turning our attention to the feelings we’ve stashed away. Imagine it as meeting an old friend you’ve missed for years – daunting, yes, but also incredibly freeing. It’s about taking that courageous step to confront the emotions we’ve long tried to avoid.

Practical Steps:

  1. Recognize Triggers: Identify cues setting off trauma responses for better preparedness and acknowledge the patterns formed in childhood.
  2. Ground Yourself: Engage senses in the present moment to create a feeling of safety.
  3. Deep Breathing and Mindfulness: Use breath and mindfulness to shift focus from triggers.
  4. Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize activities bringing joy and relaxation for emotional healing.
  5. Seek Support: Connect with friends, family, or professionals during challenging times.
  6. Emotional Regulation Techniques: Explore journaling, meditation, or therapy to manage intense feelings.
  7. Educate Yourself: Gain knowledge about trauma and its effects to demystify triggers.

Embracing the Journey

Our journey through life is woven with the threads of childhood traumas, subtly shaping the adults we become. These early experiences leave an indelible mark on our choices, influencing every decision we make. Yet, as we courageously untangle the knots of emotional avoidance, let’s make a solemn commitment to break free from the patterns that bind us. Recognising the impact of our past is the first stitch in the tapestry of healing, akin to patching up a beloved quilt. Seeking support and confronting our emotions head-on are not signs of weakness; they are the milestones of personal growth. Remember, you are not navigating this transformative path alone! Embrace the empowering notion that it’s perfectly acceptable not to be okay – vulnerability is your strength. With time, empathy, and self-compassion, we can mend the fabric of our lives, stitching together a narrative that leads to a more radiant and authentic future.Healing and addressing childhood trauma is crucial for cultivating a happy and healthy brain.

12 Comments

  1. This is relatable

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